Is There Any More Toilet Paper?!?!?!

One year, we went to my ‘favorite’ place. I do say that tongue-in-cheek because it's a place I don’t want to return to, my favorite place to help me remember what to ask when making vacation inquiries. Here’s where word-of-mouth helps more than trusting the salesperson!

Imagine a family of six, four gals, in a rental home eight miles down a gravel road. You’ve just arrived and race to the bathroom, that is, after all of your children, to find there’s a few strands of paper left on the roll. Opening up the cabinet, you discover one roll, put that one out. The rest must be in the upstairs bathroom....so you thought...only to find a single roll sitting on the back of the toilet combined with a partly used roll.....and this is on day one right after you arrive and no owner/manager around to get more from!

“I get that bed!” “I get this one!” “Mama, there’s stuff in all of the dressers and stuff on them, where do we put our clothes?” Oh, and no closets, not one! Live out of suitcases for a week, with four small children who get themselves dressed, where did those shorts go?

Our master bed had 3 sides up against walls with our two suitcases on the floor next to it. Our four small children shared two double beds up in the loft, each bed crammed in the corners with barely enough room to get between them. The sheets didn’t fit the beds and kept coming undone which was resolved by the little ones pulling out the beds a bit to tuck in easier.

The lake at the bottom of the hill, ok, very steep grade, was beautiful, but all along the bank was marshy - like we were really going to wade through that to go swimming in a huge lake? Thankfully, with the steepness, we didn’t have any toddlers to go tumbling down!

It was some sort of tiny beetle’s season to join us in the house, in swarms - I stood with a fly swatter at the kitchen table for a good 10 minutes, continually pounding on the bugs attracted to the kitchen light, swarming all over the table. What effect did I have? Smooshed bugs on the table with bugs swarming and crawling on them. Anyone ready for dinner?

Oh, and by the way the note says, you can each take only a couple of short showers during your stay, and yes, the house comes with a washer and dryer, but you can only use those a couple of times - because the septic tank can’t handle any more.

You know what, we had a blast anyways, we hiked, saw eagles, discovered new birds not resident in our area, caught frogs and toads, played by some ponds we found, skipped rocks, waded, watched mice run across the living room floor - no problem, we’ll share the space. When it rained we played playdough with toothpicks, even dropping some on the floor. We had to get on our hands and knees to find them all, all part of the fun.

When we leave a place, we make sure to clean it up well, we’d like to be asked to come back. We make sure all of the dishes are washed, put away, counters and tables are wiped, bathroom picked up, sink wiped, towels all in a pile. We usually strip the beds, because we are nice? No! Because we take each level off to see what child left what item tucked away between which sheets, and what is shoved under the bed! And after all of that, we vacuum and leave.

About a week after returning to our perfect mansion (funny how big and wonderful your place can seem!) we received a letter from the owner returning our deposit. He stated that he almost didn’t return it because ...... toothpicks almost broke the vacuum, the maid had to hire someone to help move the beds back....and....and....

Yes, this is my favorite vacation to remember things to ask in the future! Do you really think to bring extra toilet paper while on vacation - that is, if you are not camping or in an RV?

NNow, imagine instead, getting a great note like this from an owner after reserving your vacation. This shows a response from a place that is family friendly and helpful:

To better help you make this be your family's
Best Vacation possible please tell me your
children's ages and what expectations you have
for your time here (relax, explore, discover,
hike, swim, fish, visit State Parks and
Historical sites, horseback ride, canoe, visit
specialty and antiques shops, etc). We will
try to direct you to the best possible places
to go (most of them free of charge!)and what
the best activities are right here on the premises.

I provide an equipped kitchen (minus food,
bring sugar, flour, etc) and all linens
including swim towels, toilet paper, liquid
soap and dish soap. You may want to bring any
other paper products (napkins, foil, saran,
baggies, paper towels, charcoal and lighter
fluid, etc). Also, water shoes are highly
recommended as the creeks and rivers have
rocky bottoms.

.........Mary Wiltberger, Koinania Cottage

If you are taking children, question how child friendly is it, do you get a warm welcome after mentioning them, or a reserved, yes, children are allowed? Ask specifically what is/isn’t included/allowed. Make a master list of things you need answers to and be bold enough to ask, even what might seem to be dumb questions like, do you supply toilet paper?

Ask about emergencies - is the information posted and easily found in a panic, what number to call, where to go? One place we go to is an hour from the nearest hospital, and that’s going 60 on winding, hilly roads! The owners have contracted a helicopter ambulance service as well as keeping a stocked first aid box in the rental home.

Toys, books, videos, games, jars to catch bugs in, dress up .... things that would be nice to not have to crowd your car with.

Washer and dryer. For a week’s vacation, we take about 3-4 days clothes and keep up with the wash. This gives us more room in the car and less of Mt. Everlaundry piled high. One option when none are available, I’ve taken everything to the laundry mat after unpacking. Quick and easy. A couple of hours enjoying a book while you wait and Mt. Everlaundry is conquered!

It’s taken years of vacations to realize I have to ask very specific questions, not assume things. Just because there is a washer and dryer available doesn’t mean I can use it when I need it! And a daily shower? Sorry, wait until you get home!